spongefanfandomcom-20200214-history
User blog:SpongeBot678/Everything Wrong With The SpongeBob n' Stuff Movie
Opening the movie with 5 seconds of “Never Gonna Give You Up” then 5 logos of production companies that worked on this movie. Lets add a sin for each company. (+5 sins) Take one sin away because Bill Cipher’s commentary is there to make the audience not bored. (-1 sin) More credits from each company, this time with no commentary so I got bored. +5 sins cuz why not. (+5 sins) Cosmobo: (on his phone) I did some research and Nickelodeon is actually named after- SBCA: Shut up, Cosmobo! I wanted to know what Nickelodeon was named after. (+1 sin) SpongeBot: It's short for (censored), do you think it really matters? Add one sin for using me without my permission. (+1 sin) SpongeBot: You do realise we killed a character a few minutes into a kids movie? Characters die in kids movies all the time, only to reappear in the sequel so they don't get sued by parents for emotional distress. (+1 sin) SBCA: Cosmobo killed him and I'm actually very sure he will return with a (looks at script) comforting 'HE'S ALIVE! OH IT'S A MIRACLE!' moment. (throws script into the ocean) Fourth wall. (-1 sin) Cosmobo: I thought robots were meant to be smart. R.O.B. (+1 sin) Actually I can name thousands of robots that aren't smart, but R.O.B was first to come to my mind. So I'll add another sin because why not. (+1 sin) More credits… (+1 sin) Squidward: (interuppting) And opening sequence ends in five, four, three, two, one. There. (song ends) So we'll finally make it into the plot of this movie. (+1 sin) Squidward: You're right but for all the wrong reasons, nobody cares about a stupid word! (the customers gasp and Squidward looks upon them) You know, it's rude to butt into other people's conversations! Patrick: (smirks) He said butt! Butt jokes. (+1 sin) Squidward: All right! That's enough! (throws hat on the floor) I have had to put up with you for seventeen years more than I've had to! 17 years? Why hasn't he filed a lawsuit on the Krusty Krab yet? I mean he has admitted multiple times that Mr. Krabs doesn't pay him enough why can't he just sue them? I mean I sued Polar Inc. for using me without my permission. (+1 sin) Wait Polar Inc. actually helped produce this movie. Lets add another sin for Polar Inc. (+1 sin) And another one because why not. (+1 sin) Mr. Krabs: (gasp) You can't quit! They'll be nobody to run the cash register! You can just hire someone else. (+1 sin) Or run the cash register yourself, you have nothing better to do. (+1 sin) Temmie: he will regret that… Where the did you come from? (+1 sin) Sandy: Well, I guess it was time the ol' squid quit. (she walks over to Mr. Krabs) I'll be your new cashier. No new character that destroys the Krusty Krab, creating a zombie apocalypse. No. Okay. (+1 sin) Mr. Krabs: You? MY new cashier? Yes she just said that. (+1 sin) SpongeBob: But I thought you got paid for your inventions! Sandy: That was back when I first moved here. I eventually decided to quit my job, making inventions, and sell them on eBay if I ever needed extra pay. You're trying to tell me she sold her inventions on a hub for haunted items? (+1 sin) Mr. Krabs: Can you handle a cash register? She already applied for the job, of course she can. (+1 sin) Sandy: (laughs) How hard can it be? Maybe not. (-1 sin) SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! I thought you were back at the Krusty Krab. Welcome to the world of movies! (+1 sin) SpongeBob: That's the magic of the movies. Fourth wall. (+1 sin) Patrick: I wanted to invite you to come jellyfishing tonight! (pulls out a jellyfishing net from behind his back) SpongeBob: How did you- (pause) He keeps all his stuff in his back. Do you not remember “The Card?” (+1 sin) Then again, I guess you would want to forget that episode… (-1 sin) SpongeBob: I've committed a nasty sin! George they're onto us! (+1 sin) Patrick: Let's climb it. SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT! Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields! Patrick: OK...(pause) Let's climb it! SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT! Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields! Patrick: OK...(pause) Let's climb it! SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT! Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields! Patrick: OK...(pause) Let's climb it! 3 uses of the same lines. (+3 sins) SpongeBob: (drops net) Ugh, this is ridiculous! Why'd you wanna climb it anyway? Patrick: I just wanna climb it! SpongeBob: You just wanna climb it? Patrick: I just wanna climb it. SpongeBob: Without any professional gear? Patrick: Without any professional gear. SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT! Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields! SpongeBob: WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? (the ranger stares blankly and sadly walks away) Another one. (+1 sin) Patrick: People these days age too quickly and don't get to do what they want to do so if we don't climb the mountain now- SpongeBob: Patrick, we haven't aged for seventeen years! (we cut to them climbing the mountain) I DID NOT AGREE TO DO THIS! Say, where'd your net go anyway? (we cut to the bottom of the mountain) Robbie Rotten: (looking at Patrick's net) Now look at this net, that I've just found. (we cut back to the mountain) When I say go! Be ready to throw! (+1 sin) SpongeBob: My name's SpongeBob and this is my friend Patrick. Patrick: Hi. ???: Intruders! Have we just completely abandoned the Krusty Krab plot? (+1 sin) ???: Just look at him! Same shape, same clothes as us! Just different colours! White, black, blue and... yellow! Yeah I think we have abandoned the Krusty Krab plot. (+1 sin) LightBob: Is this when the whole 'revenge' thing begins? DarkBob: I think so... (he shines a light a Patrick which blows a whole through his belly) He spelt "hole" wrong. (+1 sin) DarkBob: DO IT OR I'LL DO IT TO YOU! As soon as I get my breath back! Does this guy have Asthma? He runs out of breath every five seconds. (+1 sin) LightBob: Perfect! But wouldn't your house be a bit too obvious? (they reach SpongeBob's house) A pineapple! Genius! Patrick: Wait- how do we know if we can trust you! I know where this is going. (+1 sin) LightBob: I saved your lives! If that isn't good then I don't know what is! SpongeBob: He has a good point. But in case this is going to be one of those movies when you become evil again at the last second, Patrick better stay with us too. Y'know, for extra protection. If he knows he is gonna become evil again then why how the did he fall for this? (+1 sin) Patrick: It'll be like a sleepover! No, it won’t. (+1 sin) LightBob: OK, OK, but only because that 'speaking-in-unison' thing you just did was quite impressive. (we see the story as he narrates) Me, you and my two brothers originated from four crystals made by a scientist. This goes on for way too long. (+1 sin) SpongeBob: Woah. Wait you listened to that, if I was forced to listen to that I would fall asleep. (+1 sin) LightBob: I am your family. It’s impossible for one person to be considered family. (+1 sin) LightBob: It's something I would rather not to be true so I would like us to not mention it. Like the Suicide Squad movie, never happened... Ironically the team behind Suicide Squad worked on this movie. Wait so the team hates Suicide Squad as well? Then why is the movie getting a sequel? (+1 sin) Mr. Krabs: No, you can take the Krusty Krab but not me money! If he did take the Krusty Krab you wouldn’t be able to make any more money. Add one sin for bad logic. (+1 sin) DarkBob: I don't want your money! We want SpongeBob! Who's we? Just a few seconds ago you said “I” this doesn’t make any sense! (+1 sin) Mr. Krabs: No, not SpongeBob! (he is shot) SpongeBob: Oh my God! They killed Mr. Krabs! Add one sin for adding a South Park joke to a PG movie, therefore rendering the joke pointless as only adults would be laughing, and kids wouldn’t understand why. (+1 sin) DarkBob: And now I'm gonna kill (sings) YOU! (he shoots SpongeBob and he awakes from the nightmare) Were we supposed to be scared? We knew it was a nightmare. Add 10 sins for making us watch this completely unnecessary nightmare. (+10 sins) SpongeBob:Oh, he Squidward? He Squidward? (+1 sin) Squidward: Oh, it's fine a guess. A guess? Why aren’t we reading these spelling errors in your SBFW Go! Episodes? (+1 sin) SpongeBob: My friend Sandy has special suits we could use! And you used none of them in either of your movies. (+1 sin) Robbie:(sitting on a picnic table) Treasure? You mean like pirates? Why does Robbie keep appearing out of nowhere? It's like the writers are just continuously going "hey Robbie hasn't been in this scene yet." (+1 sin) Robbie: Answer the question! When I want an answer I REALLY want an answer! Patrick: Uh... 21? Sandy: Yes, like pirates. Patrick: 21 Pirates? That should be a name of a band! Haha, you! (+1 sins) Sandy: You can come with us to get the treasure if you want. Robbie: Perfect! Finally he actually has a purpose to the plot! (+1 sin) LightBob: Who's Bill Cipher? Sandy: Dream demon, one eye, looks like the illuminati I didn't know Pluto helped write this movie. (+1 sin) Sandy: Uh, why does this feel so awkward? (Temmie approaches them) Temmie: hoi!!! wait, WHO R U PEOPLE? I was wondering where Temmie was. (+1 sin) Music now! (we cut to them in the special suits - save Sandy who is in an air-suit - in a flying pirate ship going to the surface, they sing 'You Are A Pirate') Robbie: Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate! Hooray for LazyTown memes! (-1 sin) Sandy: Here we are, Bikini Atoll. (they find out that they're tiny compared to everything else) Temmie: woah, it seems much bigger in photographs! Thank God. I was worried we were gonna go through the rest of the movie without a cheesy joke. (+1 sin) Temie: we do it temmie style! Who’s Temie and what have you done with Temmie? (+1 sin) (we see them walking towards it with various songs playing after one another in the background) But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more... Ah, ah, ah, ah, Stayin' Alive, Stayin' Alive... Mr. Boombastic, ???, fantastic... Wake me up, before you go-go, don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo... Have you ever met my friend Fatrick Star? He's the biggest- (they reach the treasure chest) Sandy: Here we are! Completely unnecessary music sequence, lets add a sin for each song. (+5 sins) And another one for making a Life In Bikini Bottom reference in a PG movie. (+1 sin) Temmie: wait, we could've just ran over here? Where was Temmie when that music sequence was playing out, because as far as I was aware he was replaced with a new character called Temie? (+1 sin) While we're here, what the happened to the Krusty Krab plot? (+1 sin) If that plot is still happening in the movie, can someone try to explain why Sandy is here and not working at the Krusty Krab? (+1 sin) SBCA: (for some reason still on the island) Hey, they're making off with our treasure! How are we supposed to get it now? The fact that the writers put "for some reason still on the island" in the script proves that the writers had no idea where they were going with this movie, and were just improvising and hoped they would get away with it. (+1 sin) Cosmobo: Well, considering we waited all this time before getting it and the fact that they don't actualy have it their grip, there is no possible way. SpongeBot: Actually- At least I know how to spell "actually." Did the writers proofread this thing before publishing it? (+1 sin) SBCA: (Sandy steers the ship into the ocean and they follow the stream onto the same mountain from Jellyfish Fields where the ship crashes and breaks) uh-oh. (BlueBob forms from the blue stream) Robbie: It's BlueBob! Then we get introduced to a new character, whose story we'll probably never know about. Way to introduce a new character guys! (+1 sin) BlueBob: We need to build a wall! (he uses his powers to form a wall around the top of the mountain, trapping them all) Political references in a PG movie! (+1 sin) BlueBob: Here's BlueBob! (he is about to shoot them until the Batwing lands destroying the wall, the door opens) Batman: Relax everyone, I'm here. These guys can afford to get Batman in their movie, but can't afford to proofread before publishing. (+1 sin) Another thing, why is Batman even in a movie about a spin-off full of memes, couldn't they have used someone like Spooderman or Sanic? (+1 sin) Meanwhile Gotham is being destroyed and this will be the setting for the next Batman movie. (+1 sin) Temmie: now dis is da story all about how I was forced to watch this movie. (+1 sin) BlueBob: You guys do realise I can still kill you ALL right here, right now. Still kill you? You haven't tried to kill them once in the last 3 minutes you were in this movie. Also will he really get away with that with Batman right there? (+1 sin) Batman: Smoke grenade! (he tosses a smoke grenade on the floor briefly blinding BlueBob as the trio jump in the Batwing and they fly away) Predictable. (+1 sin) BlueBob: Wow, I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life! My one chance comes to destroy my siblings and they just fly away! Unbelievable! Welcome to movies BlueBob! (+1 sin) Patrick: (looking at a list) Huh, what's this? LightBob: It looks like a to-do-list. Patrick: (reading) Dominate the Illuminati, dominate ISIS, dominate the world- (stops) Hey, this one's crossed out! Go back on that one. Patrick: (reading) Dominate ISIS. Why the is dominating ISIS on Bill Cipher’s to do list? And how is this movie still PG? FANDOM probably doesn't even allow ISIS references. Meaning me and PolarKey are probably gonna be globally blocked after this. Add 5 sins for sentencing kids to ISIS references. (+5 sins) Patrick: Oh, it's that right balloon thing you put around your- SpongeBob: PATRICK! THIS IS A KIDS MOVIE! Somehow. (+1 sin) LightBob: Wait a second, the town's called Bikini Bottom? BIKINI BOTTOM? (she bursts into hysterics) PG! (+1 sin) Patrick: (he turns on the TV and they see the famous scene from 'Your Shoes Untied' that SpongeBob watches at the beginning of the episode, SpongeBob and LightBob are not amused) Hehe... Also PG! (+1 sin) (we cut back to the Temmie Rave Party) Temmie #1: dis wus da gweat idear 2 cum back inside! Temmie #2: yaYA!!! Jeffy: (performing his hit single) (Jeffy!) Why? Why? Jeffy is here for some reason. (+1 sin) (as this is happening BlueBob has somehow made his way into the party and, disguised as a Temmie, drinks some punch) Movie admits it makes no sense. (+1 sin) Jeffy: Spanked my peepee until it was red! Still PG! How?! (+1 sin) Dealing weed in the mansion, just like Bruce Wayne (alright). ing weed in a kids movie. Don't do drugs kids. Words of advice from SpongeBot678. (+1 sin) BlueBob: Hey look, it's pinhead. Who ya callin pinhead? (+1 sin) DarkBob: His name is SpongeBob. (he stops building the lair and turns around) It really is you! Now, listen closely. Tomorrow we will destroy Bikini Bottom. Not all of it but just enough so we can get our squishy hands on them both. Then, we kill them! BlueBob: Oh, diabolical! This person was supposed to be a hero right? (+1 sin) Squidward: (annoyed) Ugh, I absolutely hate it when people correct me. Wait- I need the toilet. Driver: Go in the trunk. Squidward: I'm not wearing any pants! He's never wore pants, and no one seems to mind. (+1 sin) Joker: No, let's both go at the same time. (he laughs maniaclly as Squidward steps out of the van) Why is he here again? (+1 sin) Also you spelt maniacally wrong. (+1 sin) Batman: Because I'm Batman! Now, there's no time to explain, we must get back to Bikini Bottom (they both randomly disappear) Magic! (+1 sin) BlueBob: Tell me where SpongeBob is or I'll kill you. Jeffy: ARE YOU (censored) HIGH? Drug reference in a PG movie! (+1 sin) Perch Perkins: (on TV) Thank you for those kind words, Mr. President. Donald Trump is president in America, not Bikini Bottom. (+1 sin) LightBob: We are not going to die! And that's because- (Batman suddenly appears and floors DarkBob) Batman: I'm Batman! Movie can't afford an actual action sequence, so this is the closest they can get to one. (+1 sin) DarkBob: I apologise for that commercial break. Now, (gets up) where were we? Sandy: (running towards them with Temmie and Robbie) Kicking your ass! PG! (+1 sin) SpongeBob: It's the memes! Nothing's stronger than memes! (they follow the memes) I can name lots of things stronger than memes. (+1 sin) BlueBob: Me? Oh, no. I'm on your side now! You were supposed to be on their side at the beginning of the movie, you're a bit late now. (+1 sin) DarkBob: Well, this is the end. (he creates a large office-like building and runs in it) See ya, suckers! Can someone explain how he managed to build that in only a few seconds? (+1 sin) (Jeffy, Gandalf and the 'I Like Turtles' kid chase after him into the building, they follow him into a lift and, after a quick 'Gangnam Style' gag, they reach the roof where DarkBob is about to kill himself) Gandalf: Is he really going to jump off? Were the rating team high rating this? How is this scene PG? (+1 sin) DarkBob: Vader? Is this like Star Wars? Well, in this case then, I am your fa- whoa! (he falls and is caught by Nyan Cat who is surrounded by the other memes, he drops him and BlueBob is pushed back in the circle too) Yeah before you ask Polar, no, I am not airing this movie on Fox Kids, Fox Nights, ehh. (+1 sin) BlueBob: (censored) her right in the (censored)! Why are you still bothering to censor this? You literally just had a scene with DarkBob attempting suicide! (+1 sin) Temmie: victory dance! (he and the other temmies, teletubbies and Pig Family perform a victory dance) Why... (+1 sin) Robin: Can't believe we just ditched the Justice League! Batman: Serves them right really. What'd I miss? Actually in a Lego DC special for Cartoon Network Batman actually did join the Justice League therefore rendering this joke, I actually don't know what to say here. (+1 sin) SpongeBob: Squidward! I thought you moved! Squidward: I did but duty called. You mean the writers who had no plot in their minds called. (+1 sin) Patrick: Sorry, Squid, but your job's kinda taken. Wait wha- oh yeah that plot we abandoned half way through the movie. (+1 sin) Temmie: were u even paying attention earlier? Who are you talking to here? (+1 sin) (we cut to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Squidward are working there once again accompanied by music) More music, I guess that's where half the budget when towards. (+1 sin) (SpongeBob delivers a krabby patty to LightBob, Patrick, Temmie and Kenny's table) Yes Kenny is somehow breathing underwater. (+1 sin) SpongeBob: Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Temmie: u (censored) Yes they're still censoring themselves. (+1 sin) (a fun visually pleasing credits listing the voice actors, director, writers and what it's based on begin set to asdf Movie's 'Beep Beep I'm a Sheep' before the plain ones start listing the other people who worked on the film set to SML Movie's 'Why', 'You Reposted In The Wrong Neighbourhood' and then a dedication to Gabe the Dog, Harambe, The Terrible Travis (who 'sadly passed away' during production) and joke asking why Cosmobo isn't mentioned, a post-credit scene begins afterwards) Credits. (+1 sin) Joker: I dunno, nobody really expects post-credit scenes in movies anymore, there's nothing worth- (Stan Lee walks by) there's the Stan Lee cameo. (pause) Who's hyped for the sequel? Driver: A SEQUEL? WHAT THE F- (film ends) What will the sequel be about? A zombie apocalypse saved by memes. Still rated PG probably. (+1 sin) Movie sin tally: 124 (i think) Sentence: Category:Blog posts